Mixed Blood Baby — What People Call My Daughter in China
When I walk alone with my 2 year old daughter on the street, people will often call her 小老外 (Xiao Lao Wai) meaning “Little Foreigner” in Chinese, but when my Chinese husband is with me they see that she’s mixed and call her 混血 (Hun Xue) instead. The first time I looked 混血(Hun Xue) up in the dictionary I was shocked to see the translation — Half Breed, Mixed Blood or Hybrid.
On the street or in a shop people will sometimes call out 混血宝宝 (Hun Xue Bao Bao) meaning “Mixed Blood Baby” to my daughter. They often say it fondly and then would tell me in Chinese that she was beautiful. Fawning over her big eyes and white skin. Immediately, I had a very American reaction, which was to be deeply offended. It felt like a racial slur, but somehow people said it with a smile on their faces. I was pretty confused about how to interpret it and how to respond.
People will often tell me that 混血 (Hun Xue) is a good term and that babies who are mixed are better than Chinese babies. I have a problem with this idea and have noticed that the positivity is generally applied towards babies who are mixed with white people way more than to those that are mixed with black or brown people.
When I was pregnant people would tell me that my daughter was going to be smart, beautiful and successful because she was mixed. “I’ve met ugly White/Chinese mixed people before,” I would sometimes tell them. “No, that can’t happen,” people would respond incredulously while shaking their heads. My American sensibility recoiled when people wanted to shower my baby in complaints about how wonderful she’d have it being half-white and half-Chinese. I just wanted her to be healthy.
I’m used to people, especially people over 50 saying “foreigner” in China when they see me, even if they are only talking to themselves. I’ve lived here for 12 years and over time I have felt that people stare less and less. Nowadays, people are generally pretty busy staring at their phones and couldn’t give a crap about me or much else outside of their screen. Additionally, the younger generation has seen a lot of foreigners on TV and may have met few. And there are a growing number of foreigners living in 1st and 2nd tier Chinese cities, so it’s very slowly becoming less exciting to see a foreigner.
My close Chinese friends who live in the city don’t care that I’m a foreigner and they just see me as their friend. They are surprised when we travel to a park in the countryside and people stare intensely and call out 老外 (Lao Wai) meaning “Foreigner” or shout “hello” to me curiously or for their own entertainment. They shout “hello” and then laugh to their friends like a high schooler on a dare. Children will shout “hello” in earnest and I can’t help but say “hello” back to a little smiling face who hasn’t met a foreigner before.
Mixed race couples and mixed race babies are a relatively new thing in China and under the surface, I had the feeling that it was like looking at exotic animals at the zoo. When I meet Chinese people and they have adorable and smart 2 year olds, just like my own, I feel taken aback when they continue to tell my daughter how beautiful she is. Their own child stares blankly as their mother points and says, “Look at that beautiful mixed race girl, she’s like Barbie.” Why don’t they see that their own children are just as beautiful as a half-white child? When I respond by saying that their own child is beautiful, they seem confused or think that I’m just being polite. They turn towards their child and continue to tell them how my daughter is very beautiful and to look at her.
I want people to see that our children are equal and adorable, but I’m still trying to figure out how to have that conversation. I can speak in Mandarin Chinese about many topics, but I don’t feel like really get through to many people on this topic. I just hope I can explain it to my daughter and that she sees through my actions that her face and color don’t make her better than anybody else.
Please comment! I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic.
